IBIL Update

I survived the concert last night! Hooray! I'm establishing a good pre-performance routine that includes Alexander and meditation.

I ended up basically making the reed I played on right before I went on stage - not making it entirely, but finishing it, at least. I feel independent! How did I suddenly develop the ability to make good reeds? I am still astounded how it suddenly clicked in May. Like, the mathematician works for days, but then the solution comes as a bolt from the blue when he's sitting at the bus stop thinking about something else entirely...finally, three long years of dedicated, frustrated reed making are paying off. Of course I'll have my future slumps and new frustrations, but I'm suddenly at an unprecedented level of comfort and ease, and it's a little bizarre. But I'm cerrrtainly not complaining.

I guess I finally have a little time to update about many of the adventures in Baroque of the last week. Tonight is the faculty concert, and there was a chamber concert at lunch today as well, but other than that, nothing in the afternoon. I'm fairly exhausted.

I've gone through a LOT of rep this week. 2-4 brand new movements per day, ornaments and everything, to be played in masterclass the next morning. On top of actually getting to know the instrument, making a type of reed I've never made before, and warming up every day. And learning the chamber and orchestra music, and reading duets and things for fun. Solfege has been really invaluable, and in my initial practice sessions with new pieces, I spent a lot of time at the harpsichord singing (not that the harpsichords have actually been in tune by the time I get to them, but at least I get a starting pitch and can check the general vicinity of intervalic relationships (that last phrase was absolute nonsense, but I'm going to leave it in here anyway because I kinda like it)).

I've also bought a lot of drinks at Starbucks. It's across the street from the dorm I'm staying in, on the way to the music building...

Other fun activities - orchestra, oboe band. Two chamber music groups. It's been incredibly busy, but I think it has felt that way mostly since until today, I spent nearly every free moment (before 9am, lunch and after orchestra at 5) practicing. Although we have had coffee and pastry breaks every day at 10:30 between master classes and chamber, which has been really excellent. Except for the lack of caffeinated tea. This herbal stuff just doesn't cut it.

Oh, and we had Wednesday afternoon off. There was a fabulous bowling outing involved.

I've had such trouble sleeping the past few nights because I've been so excited about early music. And music in general. And grad school. I have so many grand plans for next year, including an early music extravaganza recital in the spring. I have a ton of verrry exciting ideas. The most difficult bit I think is going to be getting some key people on board. Probably obvious who I am talking about, specifically........

Anyway. I think a nap might be in order.

Meditation on Intonation

Scale degree 7 is not a leading tone.

Scale degree 7 is the third of the dominant chord.

Scale degree 7 is not a leading tone.

Scale degree 7 is the third of the dominant chord.

Scale degree 7 is not a leading tone.

Scale degree 7 is the third of the dominant chord.

Maybe if I repeat this to myself over and over between now and 8pm, my fa sharps will be in tune during the concert tonight.

Why are there ants all over my computer for the third time this summer? I don't understand.

So, topic for today, topic for this week, and for the rest of my life and yours: intonation. I'm struggling, and I suspect it is because I care too much and consequently am trying to control too much. That is, self 1 is trying to control too much and not allowing self 2 to do its thing, if I may use some Inner Game language.

I am going to make a list of things I know are true, but somehow when I play, I am prevented from trusting these truisms by the lack of trust I have in myself:

-There is a place on the reed where if I am using proper support and air speed, all my notes will be placed exactly where I want them to be.

-I know where I want every note to be. I know that I know this because I can sing them over a drone in tune. And when I sing a note over the drone and then immediately play it, it is immediately or very quickly, exactly where I just sang it and in tune.

-Scale degree 7 is not a leading tone. Scale degree seven is the third of the dominant chord.

-This does NOT mean it is a lowered third. Because that would imply that it is lowered relative to some arbitrary pitch value governed by a universal fudge factor. It means that scale degree 7 is a pure third above the dominant. Which means I will NOT think of trying to play "flat" every time I see an F# tonight. This means that I will simply match the third in the overtone series of re.

-Hiding my sound will not make me seem more in tune. Actually, it will make me sound more out of tune. Particularly, biting the reed will not hide my sound or my intonation. It will make my pitch obscenely sharp.

-If I keep an embouchure that is equally open and cushiony for all the intervals while voicing the correct pitch, I will play in tune.

-I will play ALWAYS on a G on the reed. This does not change across the range of the instrument. There are no high notes on the Baroque oboe. The Ab-Bb-C-Db exercise is for the modern oboe only. Forgettabout it right now.

Now, I know there's the right way to play the oboe where things are in tune, and I know that I know where things should be. At the same time though, I just found this spot today in my adventure with drones. The lips on the reed and the cavity of the mouth and the sympathetic resonance (that's a Gonzaloism) all have to be exactly right for the fa sharp in particular to be just so, and my body and mind are not trained to always find that spot right away on Baroque oboe yet. Gonzalo has told me over and over to be patient, fa sharp is the last note I will feel like I have conquered. I mean, for goodness' sakes, there are five fingerings for the lower octave fa sharp and seven fingerings for the upper fa sharp. I have been playing Baroque oboe for a month, and I am playing on reeds completely made by myself, literally zero adjustments by Gonzalo or anyone else. These are not excuses, and thinking these things over is not making excuses, and I should not beat myself over the head for "making excuses" if I think these things. It's placing myself as firmly as I can in reality so that I maintain a good relationship with my coach and my coach continues to help me and stay out of the way when it needs to.

Of course it's going to be frustrating that my conductors and chamber coaches keep telling me certain notes are sharp or flat when I know they are sharp or flat. It's embarrassing to think that perhaps the coaches and conductors think I can't hear that this or that note is out of tune, because I can hear it (which makes it feel much worse). The problem is, I hear it after I play it. I need to hear it before I play it.

But observing. Nonjudgementally. Observing nonjudgmentally when a note is sharp or flat is what I need to be attending to. And not worrying about what the coaches or conductors are thinking is the problem. And I shall.

So much of this is the mindset. There's nothing to be afraid of. There is literally no reason to be anxious about playing out of tune or rushing such and such a spot. Today in chamber rehearsal, people (including myself) kept making remarks to that degree - "I'm worried I am going to rush this spot" etcetera. Finally I said something about it - that if we know how we want to play it, there is no reason to hypothesize about what could go wrong. Someone else said that it wasn't so much fear as professional concern. I mean, I know what she meant, and she's right to the extent that we do need to be involved (duh). But since the word "concern" can have two meanings, and one of those meanings is emotionally charged, I don't entirely approve of the terminology. I know that's awfully picky, but this is important to me in my own quest for mental discipline right now, to think about these things in just the right way so that I fully comprehend them, and when I'm teaching in the future, I want to communicate my personal philosophy about performing in the clearest, most concise way possible. "Engaged" or perhaps "highly conscious" or "highly aware" works a lot better for me than "concerned." Instead of "I'm worried we are going to rush here, let's run this spot and try not to rush," I think the better approach is, "Let's be extra conscious of the tempo and pulse here, we want it to be precise and energetic." There's no negative emotion or positive emotion in this latter approach, merely a statement of the goal and a call to notice how that goal might be better achieved. Chances are, that spot will be in tempo next time and not rush. If it does rush, this can be stated without a value judgement.

I only make such a big deal out of this because the extent to which I have engaged in this type of thinking is the extent to which I have improved both my musicianship and my emotional health, particularly over the past year. The discipline that I lack in this area (as evidenced by my recent freak out moments/rehearsals about intonation) leads to physical tension and a worsening of the problem.

After I said the bit in rehearsal today about not being "afraid" of anything, I suddenly played 300% more in tune. Surprise surprise.

Errrr

Blarg I have a lot to write about but no time to write! Must...practice...early tomorrow.

I LOVE MUSIC.

That is all.

Today's Entry

I'm posting two entries at once - don't be confused, the last entry I wrote yesterday but couldn't post until just now because I didn't have the internet.

Played in my first Baroque orchestra today! Eee! It was...so. cool. I'm a little frustrated with myself because I know I was playing scared - it's hard not to do when everyone sounds so much better than you and the ornaments are coming at you waaaay too fast to read. But I've learned so much from the experience already; just sitting next to the verrrry good bassoonist is extraordinarily enlightening.

F#, I am playing so scared of F#. Least favorite note.

I survived the sonata in master class! I played the first three movements, and all things considered, it wasn't terrible! I'm polishing a little more but also taking on some new music, including music in French violin clef. Yay! The ornaments are surprisingly hard in FVC, I'm not sure why they should be. I'm reading by interval. But somehow the ornament part of my brain is wired to the treble clef, seeing the notes on the page. WWPD? (What would Ploger do?) I'm not visualizing the ornaments probably. Should visualize the ornaments probably.

Mmm, popcorn.

Baroque dance class continues. There was a lot of hopping around today. I was pretty ungainly. Baroque French dance, and subsequently the music, requires a good deal of elegance, poise, and grace, none of which are inherent aspects of my...person. My mother will certainly attest to this.

But tonight, what an excellent surprise! I was practicing, and Gonzalo and company came in to the room I was in because they needed to use the harpsichord to read some Couperin. They invited me to stay and listen, which I did (DUH). It was beyond amazing. I absorbed so much from just listening and following along with the score. Gosh, the ornaments. All in the fingers, not the wind, Lindsey. Remember that. Blarrrrg and the harmony, it was just soooo good.

Also we worked on reeds today. I tied two blanks. I'll keep you updated on how those turn out...this is a very unorganized blog entry. My brain is kind of unorganized but filled with intense French Baroque ornaments right now. Whee.

Yesterday's Post (I didn't have internet)

Well, no internet yet tonight, so I won’t be posting this until tomorrow at least.

So I have arrived in Boston! Specifically, Cambridge. I’m here for the International Baroque Institute at Longy (aka IBIL) for the next week.

After orientation, we met in sections. Gonzalo handed me a French sonata and said, “Here, you can play this in masterclass tomorrow.” This was at 9pm. And there are only three of us, so the slots of time are pretty big – meaning, more than one movement. Meaning, he and I are expecting me to have the entire thing learned by 9am tomorrow.

So! Perfect study in Learning Music Quickly, a point of extreme interest for this blog. So I can’t resist writing about what I’ve done so far tonight, even though I really need to get to bed (if I wake up at 6, I can be practicing by 7:30…).

I practiced a lot yesterday, so it was actually a very good thing that pre-orientation I had only practiced about an hour, because by the end of the second hour, my chops were a little eeeh and I was biting a little (eeeeeh). Probably more than a little. (That’s bad, if you don’t play oboe and don’t know what I’m talking about.) So that second hour started at 9:15ish, when the oboe meeting was over and I was left standing in the room with this sonata by Andre Cheron. Immediate fight or flight response (choosing fight of course) was to dive irresponsibly straight into trying to play the music at tempo with all the ornaments. Dumb of course. But I was saved actually, by the harpsichord maintenance team, or whoever they were, who came in after about five minutes to put together a harpsichord in that room, and I moved rooms. It was enough time to clear my head and say to myself, “Here’s an opportunity to learn something quickly the correct way, so take it.” Luckily, there was a fully functional (but radically out of tune, alas) harpsichord in this new room (much easier than playing a half step lower than you are singing solfege on the piano).

So I sang through movement by movement, and in logical chunks, I’d go through the rhythm, sing it (using the piano to check intervals I wasn’t totally sure of, but surprise, I wasn’t ever off, I don’t think), and then attempt to play it. I made it through the entire piece like this, leaving off the ornaments, and on the fast movements often playing something slowly once and then speeding it up. Then I started to go back to the beginning and work on first shaping the phrase the way I wanted it (still starting with singing the solfege until it sounded the way I wanted, then playing it), and then adding in some ornaments. But I didn’t even make it past the first half of the first page when the security guard came in and told me the practice rooms were closing.

It was 10pm. What? What kind of practice rooms close at 10pm??? I take Blair for granted, I guess.

So I came back to the dorm (about a ten minute walk, I was impressed that I can already navigate around here, haven’t gotten lost yet. Well, the first time I set foot in the town doesn’t count, but I’m just saying that every time I’ve had a general idea of where I wanted to go after that, I haven’t been lost). I went through each movement all the way through, two times each for just singing rhythm without the ornaments (including the inegalite, which I sure hope I am using appropriately, probably not). After that, I spoke solfege in rhythm, without ornaments. The solfege is really important for getting the groupings and the phrasings just right – things suddenly make sense, which they don’t do if I just start playing on the instrument and barrel through, trying to get the right notes. So then I spoke through with ornaments, which is a bit more of a challenge. That’s the hard part. It is particularly challenging because it is a matter of both getting the rhetoric correct and getting the fingers to be extremely graceful and not blurble or slam down or wind a note at the end of a gesture because it is a cross fingering, and it might not come out…or something.

So hopefully this will all pay off tomorrow, and I won’t be so dead tired that I can’t function. I woke up at 4:45 this morning to head to the airport. Had some rough sleep on the plane (but long sleep, almost the entire three hour flight, surprising for me) and then napped when I got here for about two hours. We shall see. Luckily, there’s a Starbucks across the street.

Oh yes, the other thing I have been meaning to write about. So yesterday I was watching America’s Next Top Model. You laugh, but this is very relevant! (I was also practicing Baroque oboe at the same time, which might not have been entirely healthy, but we can discuss that later…). So (cycle 16, if you’re interested) one of the first challenges for the girls was with a prominent acting coach. The challenge was basically, to face the “inner critic.” When I heard this, I had to laugh because this is such a familiar concept to us musicians (at least us musicians at Blair and us musicians who have read Inner Game of Tennis and probably everyone else). In The Inner Game of Tennis, the author talks about Self 1 and Self 2, Self 1 being the voice that rambles on and on, trying to control everything and getting in the way of the performance (tennis, music, anything really). Professor Ploger’s name for it is the “coach,” that is, pretty much the same thing – the berating voice that is the biggest obstacle for any performer.

In the past year, while I was practicing at school, I had been focusing on building a better relationship with my coach. We were really on bad terms, and I hadn’t even been noticing how mean my inner coach was being to me, how much it was affecting not only my playing, but my overall happiness. I spent a lot of time, particularly first semester, both paying attention in order to notice my coach’s negativity, and literally having conversations (mostly in my head, sometimes out loud, don’t institutionalize me haha) with my coach. I was forgiving, made offerings of friendship, was gentle. In years before, when trying to deal with the negative voice, the (inappropriate) response I gave was always equally negative; I knew thinking these things were not doing me any good, but I didn’t know how to fix it – “Don’t be stupid, why are you thinking like that? If you think like that, you’re never going to be any good. Now play it right this time and stop beating yourself up.” Ironically of course, just another form of beating myself up.

But the gentler, patient approach worked really, really well. I’d say my coach and I have an excellent relationship now. Except sometimes the coach is lazy. Well, okay, a lot of times the coach is lazy. So that’s my challenge now, and particularly for the next year – I’ve gotten the coach to stop hurting me, but the coach doesn’t always put out the effort to help me in the way I know it can. And that’s largely on me. I think more Alexander and possibly (hopefully) yoga are in order here.

I do want to finish describing the ANTM challenge though! Because I think I will do it sometime possibly, it sounds like a good idea. So the acting coach had an easel with poster paper and markers set up behind each girl, and after he described the concept of the inner critic and they all understood it, he told them to turn around – 15 minutes to draw their inner critic. Then each went up on stage to face their inner critic in front of the other girls (the acting coach held up the poster and played the part of the critic while the girls had to confront the inner coach and tell it what’s what). Good idea I thought.

Which reminds me of something else I should mention, since the girls definitely weren’t gentle with their inner coach. There does have to be a definite degree of dominance – gentle, yes, but firm first. Resolute. Stare it down. Let it know you are in charge, and you won’t be putting up with its nonsense anymore.

Recommended Reading: The Inner Game of Tennis

Recommended Viewing: ANTM

Color and Texture

I finished two paintings today!

The first was a painting I started last summer. I didn't do much at all to finish it - yesterday added in a layer of some stripey pyramid stone looking things, and today I painted the edges. It's interesting to reflect on my own painting "style" in context of some of the "research" I was doing this year in my independent study. One of the observations made by Dr. Rose was that Realism and Impressionism are connected philosophically by their preoccupation with the medium itself. Both seemingly contradictory movements are characterized by a primacy of material which evidences the belatedness of these styles. Anyway, the point is that I definitely embrace this primacy of materials. I am fascinated with the way that paint mixes, the texture of the acrylics, the three dimensional qualities that one can attain by heaping mounds of paint on a canvas. I wake up the next morning after I work on a painting, and the first thing I do is examine the previous day's work extremely closely with my nose inches away, touching all the interesting areas where the paint is textured. I love that particular tactile sensation. I'm interested in the way the canvas takes paint (there are even some brush strokes in this first painting that didn't fill in the entire canvas, but I find it very beautiful) and the way paint takes other paint. I like letting the materials do the work for me.

So here is my first painting, an abstract. It sort of makes me think of space and the Creation. I'm putting in pictures both of the entire canvas and of some interesting parts up close that I like. Too bad y'all can't really get the effect of the texture, it's my favorite element of acrylic painting.

Painting #1

Detail, cool blobs

Detail, nifty orb

Detail, demonstrating how I painted the edges of the canvases

Detail, more nifty brushstrokes

I think my dad is going to put this one in his office.

Below are some photographs of the second painting. I usually don't try to represent real things when I do arty stuff, but this scene is part of a really crazy dream that I had that resulted in a sort of compulsion to release the energy of it onto a canvas. The dream was so intensely vivid and with so many more details. I started wanting to put half of it in this one painting, but then I realized I could really only put about a twentieth of it in one painting, or it would be too much all at once. But the good news is, I have all this material in my head for several more paintings, if I so wish. Yay. But all in all, I'm pretty pleased with how they both turned out.

Painting #2

Detail, waves arriving at the shore

Detail, sky, the storm fading

Detail, horizon and a wave

Detail, the city in the distance

Anyway, mostly practiced Baroque oboe today. Read some of Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell. Dr. Rose sent me a fantastic epistle in response to my response to Tom Jones. It's going to take a while to write a response...and of course every time he sends

me an email, he recommends about 10,000 pages worth of reading or 8 hours worth of listening...after JSMN (which he recommended earlier this year) (800 pages), I'll probably go for Clarissa (by Richardson) (one of the recommendations from the last email) (2,000 pages).

This post wasn't much about oboe playing I realize, but I hope y'all were interested anyway!

Geckos and Things

I have returned! From a glorious couple of days in Key West. I have a henna gecko. Henna courage gecko.

I practiced a lot of Baroque oboe today! Not very organized practicing, but just playing through a lot of music. I really want to have a lot of rep under my belt for when I see Gonzalo next, I feel like he will expect me to. I've been plundering IMSLP for pieces, but it is very difficult because there is so much Baroque music and I don't know what is super interesting and fun besides the standards we always play on modern oboe.

So far I've been working on:

Telemann Kleine Kammermusik, Suites 2 and 5

Telemann Sonata in a minor

Vivaldi Sonata in c minor

sort of the 2 Handel sonatas...but they're in Bb and g minor...will work more in the keys of Bb and g minor. Right now, Bb is my least favorite note...

I think I'm going to pull out the Hertel too.

It's been good for me to just be reading through movements, not allowing myself to stop. I think I was sounding pretty good today!

On another note, I finished Tom Jones and sent an epic email to Dr. Rose about it. Writing emails to Dr. Rose is exhausting.

:P

Oh yeah, I forgot.

Don't look for any more posts or eartraining continued blogs until Monday.

I'm going to the Florida Keys.

Heh heh sayonora, suckers!

Epic Eartraining Post, Part 1

So here's something new and interesting. I'm going to blog - as I practice - eartraining.

I haven't gone through my new practice sheets yet, so I'm going to do that now, but as I go, I am going to write about some of my experiences in more detail. On my record sheets I have an area set aside for "observations" but since this is an initial trial run and I won't be using the sheets today (and it will be a comprehensive run, going over every skill), it will be a good opportunity to reflect in detail on my strengths and weaknesses.

So I started off with some Alexander, about 20 minutes of constructive rest and some shoulder moves (both of these are on my daily warm up for oboe routine, I'm hoping to get them in every day).

If you aren't familiar with it, constructive rest is an exercise from the Alexander Technique in which you are lying on your back, knees bent, and with your head resting on a large book or something equivalent. While this position in itself is highly beneficial for the body, a very conscious, directed constructive rest can be extraordinarily rejuvenating. Two things are key for this, I think - focus and nonjudgemental observation. First of all, the mind needs to be kept in check - focused on being present in the body and not wandering off. However, if the mind does wander, it is essential to merely observe this wandering thought and let it pass by. No point in berating yourself for lack of focus - that's just bad vibes with the inner coach (inner coach being a Plogerism). The other facet is observation. The first part of constructive rest I learned was to observe the body, beginning with the toes and working up and then when I finish, starting over again. Which foot has more weight on it? Where is the most weight? How does the foot make contact with the ground? Etcetera. And after making progress in that, one begins to add several types of subtle moves or exercises to the repertoire.

So that has been very refreshing. I am targeting a couple of areas right now, including my lower back (giving it permission to release from an arched position), releasing my knees away, and my neck/shoulders. Already, in only three days of focused Alexander, I can detect a huge difference.

I began my eartraining Odyssey with rhythm, and the difference that the preceding Alexander work made was already strikingly evident. Normally when performing rhythm exercises, my desire for precision and accuracy becomes physically manifested as extreme tension in my upper back, arms, and particularly the tops of my thighs (are those quads? I think?). I'm going to keep reminding myself to release the knees away, and to put any tension in my hands (the metronomes).

Longy 5s (mm50) and 7s (mm40). All the work I put in last semester really payed off. Coming back to a skill, it will take a little time (but less time than before, each time!) to get the Nerf ball back up the hill (um, another Plogerism, I'm still not sure of that metaphor, why a Nerf ball?). But I am evidently in a very good place here. I absolutely nailed the 5s first try (both 2-3 and 3-2), and the 7s with only a few mistakes, but no hesitations. Excellent.

Nothing too interesting to report in performing Starer. From now on, for the sake of the brevity of the blog (too late), I am only going to write about things that I think are really worthy of mention.

Now, in performing Starer sightreading then immediately taking dictation (a few bars at a time for now), the interesting bit is that the longer held values are where I make mistakes. The busy parts are easier to remember, because I'm more conscious of them, probably because they look more intimidating. Brain tends to dismiss quarter notes and half notes. Which is exactly where I should be paying attention as a performer, since those are places where the audience's brains will also dismiss quarter and half notes if I'm not careful enough to make them interesting! Hmph.

O look it's raining outside. Might I say pouring? Might I say the old man is snoring? Nah, my dad is at work.

Anyway, just did some scale degree improv. Something that is a huge weakness for me. I always sort of hide in group improv in class, and if I have a solo turn, I can get away with a few very uninteresting bars. I'm always ashamed of how uninteresting my improv is, but I know it is partly because I'm not comfortable enough with pulling the scale degrees out of the air. And every time I go out on a limb and start sounding interesting, I am naming some other degree than I'm singing (I mean, at least it's always a degree in the correct chord...). I'm sure Prof Ploger would tell me this is happening because I am not visualizing the keyboard with the names of the notes on it. I'm sure she would be correct. Well, this time, using the handy technology of my electronic mini baby grand in the house, I recorded a chord progression and then played it back while singing improv to it. This was kind of neat, because little lights go on above the keys that are being played, so I could see the outlines of the chords as I was improving. Of course, if this were only happening in my head. One step at a time. I'll keep at this skill, it's definitely in need of improvement.

Ok, mayhaps that is enough for now. My brain hurts, and besides, my mom just came home. Part 2 coming soon. And probably parts 3 and 4. This might take a while to get through the entire practice sheet I made...

Harnoncourt, Leonhardt, and Acrylics

Today has been quite the fabulous day.

Got to work on my painting almost immediately after waking up. Scrounged around in the garage and found the easel and set everything up outside next to the pool. It was unbelievably hot outside, loved every second of it. Hooked up Naxos on my computer into the patio speakers and blasted recordings of Bach and Rameau featuring Harnoncourt and Leonhardt. I worked until the heat was unbearable, then I jumped in the pool. Perfect temperature. Not too cold that I had to ease my way in, but not uncomfortably tepid either. Got out worked some more, went back in the pool, etc. My mom came home after a while, but predictably, as soon as she put her bathing suit on, the clouds came out and the daily afternoon thunderstorm started threatening.

Moved back inside, and I've spent most of the rest of the day listening to the recordings of reed class and oboe class from BPI and taking notes on them. I've only made it through the first two days, but listening back has been so beneficial. First of all, to objectively see the progress that was made in such a short amount of time is really astounding. When I was actually working on learning the instrument that first week, it felt like I wasn't making any progress, like nothing good was happening. But looking back, I can hear all of the good things that were happening, and happening very quickly. I can hear myself fixing tons of tiny little details I probably didn't even consciously think about when I was playing the second time around. Secondly, I was noticing listening back how immediately and comprehensively I notice what was going on, which notes were sharp or flat, what musical critiques Marc was about to give in the recording. So...if I can hear that quickly and correctly listening to a recording, why I am not hearing that quickly and correctly when I am practicing? I mean, I do hear a lot. But not as much as just now when I was listening to the recording. The answer, I think, is that when I am practicing, I think way too much. I also care way too much. I think both of those things, overthinking and overcaring, get in the way of allowing my self to trust my ear and do its thing as it has been trained (overtrained in fact) to do. Etcetera etcetera.

Practiced Baroque oboe for a little while in between listening to the recordings. Was a good thing to do, with a lot of the basic info fresh in my mind. I'm still hung up on scales and long tones, but I really don't want to play music with less than fabulous support/technique/articulation.

Crazy thunderstorm this afternoon. I think lightning actually hit our roof at one point, I definitely heard something creak or crack.

I edited a clip of Kill Bill last night to make a reed making spoof, but then Facebook wouldn't let me upload it because of copyright infringement. Sad. Oh well, I'm probably the only one who would find it amusing anyway...

The Ultimate Warm-Up

My main project since getting home (and after that post yesterday) has been to compose an extensive, rigorous, and comprehensive warm up routine for oboe. I've had various versions of warm ups that I've made in the past three years, composites of various teachers' recommendations and my own special formulas.

But yesterday, I was inspired to create an even more in depth warm up for three reasons - first, I wanted to incorporate some of the ideas and concepts that I have acquired from my studies this summer, second, I wanted to reorient the focus of my warm up to really target those areas in which I need to improve before grad school auditions, and third, I wanted to see how much I could make a daily warm up truly integrated, to not just get my oboe playing warmed up, but my mental processes, my listening, and my entire body.

So I started by expanding the sheet I had already, adding in some of the great warm up exercises I've gotten from teachers over the summer. Just glancing over the list, I count a total of 14 different teachers that have influenced the list or given me one or more of the exercises. It's amazing that I've been privileged enough to have worked with all of these top teachers.

In terms of targeting specific areas, I am really focusing on my breathing and being relaxed and open. These go pretty much hand in hand. So far, all of the teachers I have worked with in the past couple of months have all given me the same basic critique - tension. And most of the time, even just mentioning it gets me playing ten times better because I've done a lot of work in Alexander, enough to really help once I am conscious of the tension. But the issue is staying conscious of my body and of tension. So I am going to be focusing heavily on incorporating more Alexander into my practicing, as well as being a little more dogmatic about doing Alexander before I start practicing. It's much easier to ignore that part of consciousness in practice, because believe it or not, to do it right does take an enormous amount of mental energy. It's easy to be lazy in that respect. I plan on doing yoga as well, when the school year starts.

This morning, the difference constructive rest made before I started practice was phenomenal. I had really gotten a little twisted up, particularly in the past couple of days (traveling, tired, everything finally catching up to me was finally taking its toll). But after some seaweed arms and shoulder moves and such, I was feeling a lot better.

One major change in how I'm making these warm up routines - I'm adding a record sheet. Often it is difficult to keep track of things - which scale haven't I focused on lately? What exercise have I been avoiding? So I've made a series of questions for each day that I will fill out as the warm up progresses, to keep track both of what keys I'm covering and such, but also to keep me accountable. It's so easy, particularly in the middle of a busy semester, to say "I'm feeling so tired this morning. I really don't want to work on F# two octaves today..." and then keep putting it off and putting it off because surprise, I'm tired every day. The record sheets will force me to be honest with myself about covering weak areas in my practicing and not constantly revisiting things I'm good at.

Each day, I have a questions asking "Items Skipped?" So if I have limited time and decide to skip my minor scales, for instance, I will look back the next day and not allow myself to skip them again - in fact, I will spend extra time on them, if possible. The record sheet also has room to record which number exercises I've done in Barrett (or Ferling) and what keys I transposed them to that day. I also have room to record areas I had trouble with - what scales I wasn't as adept at, for example.

Using the first oboe warm up/record sheet pair as a model, I created a Baroque oboe warm up and record sheet as well.

Then, I did the same for eartraining. The eartraining practice sheet is a lot more complicated than either of the warm ups, since I have incorporated all of the material I have covered ever into it. Obviously I won't be able to practice every single thing on the list every day in eartraining, so the record sheet has been composed with a little bit of a different strategy. For a new skill to really solidify in the brain, one must practice it three times in three days. So for each skill area (eg interval training, heptachord shift, score reading, sightsinging) I have created a series of questions, which occurs three times, under the headings of day 1, day 2, and day 3. I can print out as many of these as I'd like, so once I fill out a page, I'll just print another (note to self: it would be good to make these double sided). For the eartraining record sheets, the most important part of each series of questions is "Observations." I also frequently include "Primary Causes of Error" as a question as well as "Weaknesses."

So are these sheets actually practical? Well, so far today I have tested the oboe warm up, and it seems to be very excellent. I only made one or two adjustments as I was going through it. I hope today also to be able to test out both the Baroque oboe warm up system and my eartraining practice system, and make enough adjustments that I will be ready to print out all three and start using them tomorrow. At any rate, it was very helpful to go through all of my eartraining material and review while considering what areas I need to focus on.

I'll also be finishing filling out Prof Ploger's Musicianship Self-Evaluation today, and maybe revamp the eartraining practice sheet to better reflect the areas I need to work on.

http://marianneploger.com/testyourself.html

So anyway. I'm very excited about all of this. Other than that, I am hoping to get out to buy some canvases today, because I have several paintings in my head that are prodding at me, wanting to be actualized. And I am in a very painty mood. Here's a picture of the last painting I was working on last summer, it's not quite finished yet...

Home, Home On The Range

Back in Florida! Finally. After six weeks, it feels very good to be home. I slept 13 hours last night. Haven't done too much today, but have gotten a lot of little things done, like emails and such. I also added some glitz and glam to my metronome. It's pretty snazzy.

Was all excited to gouge a ton of cane today until I remembered I don't own a dial indicator. Hopefully I can find an affordable one in the next couple of days.

I don't have all too much to write about in terms of learning or oboe since last time. Mainly frustration at all the annoying little things one has to do, like writing emails and ordering cane.

Here's a list of things I have accomplished today:

finalizing order for Baroque cane

ordered Baroque staples

sent about 3,000 overdue emails

called my cousin about housing in Boston

opened up all my packages, including my gouger

showered

unpacked a little

uploaded the rest of my photos from the past two weeks

fixed my reed supply box that the airlines broke

bedazzled my metronome and cutting block

Ok, I guess I didn't accomplish that much...sigh. Practice?

Last Day

Tomorrow - going home! (insert Dvorak 9 mvmt 2 here)

Had a great lesson this morning with Mr. Sorton, played Barrett stuff. Practiced, hung out with Carlos in his shop and watched him do stuff to oboes. I really need to do some experimenting with my oboe, take it apart and put it back together and adjust it and whatnot. Some real hands-on stuff. Hopefully I'll have time for that next week when I am home! That'll definitely be a good experience to write about in here...

Reed class was pretty epic today. I finished ten reeds. Of course, I'll have to readjust them all tomorrow, but heck, that is a lot of reeds. I've never made so many reeds in one day (of course, they were all the blanks I had tied yesterday, so I wasn't exactly starting from scratch). And they were all pretty darn good. I don't know what happened. All through this school year, I needed Prof Hauser to be finishing my reeds - I could hardly ever play on a reed he hadn't worked on, even if it was only a little bit. Then, after being home about a week and a half, I literally woke up one day in the middle of May and discovered I could make reeds really well. Apparently this is what happens. And I am thankful it did. I think it has something to do with my gouge being a little funny this last semester, so when I finally had a good gouge, the improvement in my scraping suddenly became drastically evident. Not complaining at all.

So no one really wanted that much detail about my reeds. Haha, sorry.

I can't wait to go home, sleep in my own bed, make reeds out by the pool, practice all day! Hooray! It's really been a fantastic six weeks of travel, festivals, and institutes though. I'm so happy that this summer turned out the way it did. :)

Georgia On My Mind

Hi guys! I finished BPI (Baroque Performance Institute) last Sunday, so I haven't been updating. I had originally intended to just blog for those two weeks, but I think I will keep it up. I've actually heard from some people that they were reading this blog for real, which is really cool! I had no idea anyone would actually check it out, much less follow it! How exciting!

I'll definitely have a lot of interesting things to write about - right now I am at an oboe camp in Georgia for a week, and in a couple of weeks, I'll be attending the International Baroque Institute at Longy. This Baroque thing is kind of addictive. Next year I'll definitely be keeping up with the Baroque oboe, so I'll keep everybody updated on that. And I'll have grad school lessons and auditions, so it might be kind of cool for those a year or more younger than me to see what that process is like. I'm also hoping to put on a big Baroque historical performance recital at Blair next year, so I'll write about what those struggles as well.

So let me go back a little and wrap up BPI! The final concert went really well - I performed in a trio sonata, a piece (supposedly) by Handel. And we opened the concert with our dance class performing the minuet that we had learned. Kanad (my lovely dance partner) and I rocked that minuet. My second lesson also went very well - Gonzalo is really a fantastic teacher.

After that final (again four hour) concert, there was a small get together in this crazy house with crazy cats. Pictures on facebook eventually. Crazy gamba collection.

I've been at Oxford Oboes since Sunday. It's an oboe camp for middle and high schoolers, and each day there are masterclasses, reed class, and chamber music. During the masterclasses, some students split off into smaller assigned groups for different classes (like English horn class) or have individual lessons. I've had so much fun here so far. Most mornings I've been in the masterclasses. When younger kids are playing in the masterclasses, I I only hear a little that I haven't heard before about oboe playing, but it has been such a great educational experience in pedagogy. I find myself really paying attention to how the professors approach different aspects in the music, what kinds of explanations work best for different ages, that sort of thing. Really important stuff for when I'm teaching later. When I was playing in the masterclass, the professors often brought up something I did well and explained/demonstrated it for the kids, a really good tactic, I think.

Love that the professors play the accompaniment (on oboe, often a bass line) along with the kids playing the solos. I can really hear in their sounds a huge increase in confidence, and they take more risks. In my lesson with Dr. O, we ended by playing through an entire Barrett sonata movement together, and I found myself gaining a lot of confidence and taking more risks as well. And just having so much fun! Wish I had recorded that.

Today I coached a sextet of beginning middle school oboists.

Yeah, you try that sometime. You can't even imagine.

But what an interesting experience, trying to figure out what they can relate to, trying to figure out what ideas are most important for them to be exposed to, not wanting to talk way above or below their level, but slightly above it, or at least at the ceiling, to challenge them but to keep them interested...teaching is hard. I've also been working with the students often at reed class, and it's really crazy having to dissect something you've been doing so long that it's permanent muscle memory in order to explain it to an ADHD middle schooler. ie tying reeds. And I didn't really realize how far I have come in reed making until seeing the beginners and intermediates. Reed making is one of those things that is so frustrating because it feels like I'm never making any progress (oboe playing too, for that matter). But to see how awkward it is for the beginners to hold a reed in one hand and a knife in the other reminds me of how natural it is for me to hold a knife or scrape a reed.

What a weird thing to be good at. Life is weird.

Oh yeah, and the other thing. Chamber music. Thirteen oboes in my chamber group, and I am the appointed leader. Why does this keep happening to me? Haha. Not complaining though, I guess somebody has to do it. I was so worried that we weren't even going to be able to stay together for the first rehearsals, but somehow miraculously around Wednesday, things started to really shape up. These rehearsals have been so much work. A very different kind of work than I am used to in rehearsals. First off, keeping everyone focused. Come on guys, every time we stop playing is not an opportunity for you to practice your part on your own or tell your neighbor a story...and I don't wanna be the bad guy or the band director. It's a very difficult balance to find!

But everyone has simmered down a lot since the first day, and there's a lot less chatter and a lot more focus. It's weird to go from group discussion of purely musical elements and subtleties like in college to directing people on how to play rhythms and things like that. There were a lot of transitions and things that we had to work through together, and a lot of spot work that took up a lot of time. The first two rehearsals, we had a professor come in for part of it, which was really helpful. I was particularly thankful not to have to be the bad guy for the entire rehearsal and to have someone with authority backing up what I was saying. I mean, I technically have authority officially, but it is an odd thing to only be a few years older than the oldest of the group. Particularly since I how I look could still pass for 17 or 18 if one didn't know I was actually old.

Gosh I feel really old here. There's an incoming college freshman here who was born in 1994. What's up with that? Sooo old.

But anyway, I suppose I'm doing an all right job organizing and waving my arms around a lot. The piece is coming together nicely, and we are even playing dynamics now! And sometimes we look at each other! Little steps.

So that seems like enough for now. Kind of a long post, but I haven't updated in a while. But I will continue to update from now on, expect a new blog every 1-3 days! Good to hear a few of you out there are reading it! :)

Keep Going

Hooray! Just came back from a beautiful performance of the St. Matthew. Three hours long. I'd really like to get to know this Passion better - so much music all at once for the first time is difficult to digest.

Why did they remove the non-functional microwave in the kitchen and replace it with a different non-functional microwave? I want popcorn.

Had a lesson with Marc today. It was so helpful to work on my ensemble piece with him. The piece is really coming together I think, but it is a little rough that I haven't really practiced it outside of ensembles. But with a little TLC before the concert tomorrow...it should be fine. It's really just those dang trills and ornaments. (You know, only like one of the most important aspects of Baroque music, so annoying :P)

I also need to practice my choreography for tomorrow's show. Yes, that's right, I am dancing the minuet in front of people. Haha! This week of dance class has really been a lot of fun. Somehow everything is a lot easier when we have choreography to learn, instead of just learning steps. Then, learning the different steps in context reinforces them a lot. New teacher this week - she pushed us a lot harder.

Baroque reeds! I have made three of them! Two of which were pieces of cane that I hand shaped! At lunch yesterday, I shaped three pieces, but only two of them came out okay. Which is fine really, because I don't have very many staples...anyway, I made them into reeds this morning, and one of them turned out really well! The other one that I made that turned out really well was from a piece that Gonzalo shaped. I'm not sure about the third one, I think it was too short (my shaping caused me to have to tie it on a lot shorter than is desirable), and perhaps I scraped too much out of it. But I'm getting better at getting a thinner tip - that goes for modern and Baroque reeds. Hope the Arkansas stone waiting at home for me will help.

Oh, home. I can't wait to go home. I really need some time for my brain to recuperate. I can't quite comprehend that I still have another week in Georgia to go.

Uh, I feel like I had a lot more to say, but I am kind of brain dead right now.

What do I have tomorrow?

dress rehearsal 10:45

lesson 10:45

Yeah, I have to figure that one out.

dance rehearsal 1:00

concert 2:00 (but I probably won't be playing until around 5:00...)

So before 10:30 am, I need to practice new stuff for my lesson.

Need to practice dance before 1.

Other things to remember:

turn in your dang lesson cards

transfer the recordings/change recorder batteries